Genius idea...not so much!

So I had the genius idea to jump on the scale this morning and see how I am doing this week so far (week 2 day 3) cuz I had such a great loss last week(almost 7.5lbs) ! OMG, the scale said I am up .5 lbs!!! Now I know all the tricks so don't even start! Yes I weigh myself at the same time, under the same conditions every time so as to have the greatest consistence and accuracy. My point is, I am devastated! Mostly by my decision to weigh myself, really. I know that if I have these kind of results I will have this kind of reaction, so why do I even do it? Because I place too much stock in the numbers and not enough on how I feel.

So, my question now is, how do I stay off the scale except for my designated weigh-in days AND how do I stay positive and turn around my devastation and desire to throw in the towel? I honestly am crushed! I have been 100% on plan and even added in a little cardio yesterday for the first time and was feeling so good! HELP!!!

Structural Dynamics Master Plan

This is the big overview of my desired outcome of reaching my optimal health.  There are no "How To's" or specific deadlines.  This just serves as the springboard from which I can create my plan of attack.  Think of it as a map with a starting point and a destination.  If I don't know where I am starting and where I want to be, it will be very difficult for me to create the roadmap in between.

Optimal Health

Healthy Weight, Eats Healthy, Activity Level High, 

High Quality of 7-8 hrs of Sleep, 

Stress Level: low or none, Co-morbid conditions: None

Prescription Med Usage Low or None

                                      

                                        Secondary Choices                                           

Habits of Healthy Eating

Habits of Motion

Habits of Healthy Sleep

Habits of Healthy Mind 

Habits of Well Being

Habits of a Healthy Body

Current Reality

Weight: Obese, overweight, normal, underweight

Eat healthy: always, sometimes, no, not sure

Sleep Hours:  Under 5hrs, 5-6hrs Low, 7-8hrs Normal, Over 8hrs High
Sleep Quality: Poor, Fair, Good, Excellent
Stress Level: None, Low, Medium, High, Extreme
Co-Morbid Conditions: Pre-diabetes, High Cholesterol, Adrenal Fatigue, Depression
Prescription Med Use: None, One, Two, Three, More

My Optimal Health Vision Board

In Discovering Your Optimal Health, Dr. A says to make a Vision Board.  "A visual representation of your Optimal Health in several key areas of your life".  Here is mine.  Starting from top left going right.

• Top left: a picture of me when I weighed the least I ever have in my adult life.  I was on Medifast before.  I felt small, tight, solid and great about how I looked physically.
• Top middle: a picture of the body's chacras.  Represents my body's balance and energy.  I will have an abundance of energy as well as balance/harmony in my body as well as my life.
• Top right: a picture of healthy fruits and veggies.  This represents my growing healthy appetite as well as my change in desire for and tastebud preference of healthy nutritious food.
• Bottom left: a picture of a lion: The lion represents strength and mastery.  I am reminded of Aslan in Narnia who was wise in all things, strong physically and in character and not afraid to do things that were difficult or momentarily difficult for lasting peace and happiness.
• Bottom middle: a picture of hobbit holes in New Zealand.  Hobbits are simple jolly folk who know the true meaning of loyalty, joy and the profundity of keeping life simple.
• Bottom right: a picture of runner's feet.  To me this is the epitome of being in shape.  Not just being skinny, but being physically fit.  I have always wanted to be a runner, and I want to be able to do fun runs and runs for causes.

Fundamental Motivation Questions

Every so often I will write out a list of questions and then answer them.  Currently in my Discovering My Optimal Health book, Dr. A. encourages me, any time he poses thought provoking questions to me to actually sit down, think about my answers and then write them down.  This is the first in a long series of really amazingly insightful questions about the root motivations and ideas that drive our decisions.  So here goes!

Why do you want to change your health?

I recently found out I have some major negative health indicators which could spell some serious trouble for me in the future if I don't make some real changes.
I used to be really healthy and I loved my life during that time period.
I want to be able to live a long life and be an active participant in my children's lives
If I want to be a part of my children's lives I am going to need more energy than I currently have.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how ready are you to get healthy?

I would rate myself at about an 8 1/2 or 9!  That's pretty damn good for me :)

Why did you initially start reading this book (Discover Your Optimal Health)?  Why were you drawn to it?

I started reading this book because I started the Medifast program and I had already read the Habits of Health book by Dr. A.  I wanted to read it again, but saw that he had written another book since I had read the other one and I wanted to see what the new book had to offer.  I also realized the other night that reading is one of my greatest weapons on my path to optimal health.  It helps to keep me well informed, knowledgable and my mind having the right focus.

Why does your health really matter to you?

I realize that I am not an island.  My life is not solitary and therefore my health is not solitary either.  At least partially, the health of my husband and my children depend on me.  If I am not healthy, making healthy decisions and modeling healthy decisions for them, then they will not make healthy decisions themselves.  My health matters to me, because I care about my family, and I care about my life.  God gave me this great gift, this life, this body, this family, to go out in the world and do good and be good.  I can't do those thing if I am so consumed with doctors and medicine and hospitals.  I have to be in the best shape I can be , be the best me I can be, so I can go out and affect change in this beautiful world!

What are you most excited about accomplishing?

I really am most excited about losing all the weight I had lost after my gastric bypass surgery the healthy way.  I am excited to reach my goal weight and then reach my one-year-mark of keeping it all off.  I'm excited to be able to workout again on a daily basis.  I'm excited to be able to go a full day without feeling like all I want to do is go back to sleep.  I am excited to recapture my happiness, my joy, my contentment, my excitement for life, my enthusiasm, my soul.

How do you see the creation of sustainable health changing your life?

Sustainable health will change my life in so many ways.  First and foremost, it will remove the worry and stress from my life of the perpetual "what if". What if I gain it all back?  What if I get fat again? What if I feel that failure again?  What if I feel that disappointment again?  That weight will finally be lifted from my mind and spirit and I will be free to live free from that burden and heaviness.  Second, it really will simplify my choices.  Really, for the longest time, I felt like making healthy food choices has harder, when in actuality it is just as easy or even easier than making unhealthy ones.  Fewer ingredients, simpler cooking techniques, quicker/healthier preparation options.  I get that all not.  Really don't know why it has taken me so long to realize this, but I am glad I finally have.  Third, it will give me a tried and true recipe to share with my family and friends.  Nothing is more rewarding than finding success in something and being able to share that happiness and joy with those I love.

How will this plan affect your health immediately?

Well this is easy to answer since I am already doing it.  It has made me a bit light headed, and quite hungry.  But what it has also done has made my mind become the master of my body, forced me to take accountability for my actions, made me grow up and start telling myself the truth and reality of my situation and now that I am a few days into it, I am already starting to feel better about by body and look at it differently.  Plus, once I start making one healthy decision, it is so much easier to make other healthy choices to go along with it.

How will this plan affect your health in a year?

I can imagine that it will have huge ramifications on not only my physical health, but my mental and emotional health as well.  During the times of my life when I was taking on my health and making optimal health choices, I was also taking on the rest of my life as well.  Everything seemed easier, more manageable, like I could handle anything life could throw at me.  I imagine that is how my life will look a year from now.  I will have a health body, healthy mindset, healthy finances, energy, abundance, a social life, a healthy sex drive, and so much more than I can even imagine even now.  I really don't believe I have "pie-in-the-sky- ideas" of what it will be like.  The sky really is the limit here.

How will this plan affect your health in five years?

Honestly, I find it very likely that if I continue down this road I will not only reverse the damage I have done over the last several years, I will give my body the nutrients and other weapons it needs to even reverse some of my signs of aging!

Are you worried if you can really maintain the plan?

Of course I am!!!  Look at my history!  I have a long historical pattern of yo-yo dieting.  Of going on a health kick and then something sends me reeling whether it is getting pregnant, moving, financial crisis, custody battles, you name it.  The one advantage I have now over all the other times is experience and perspective.  I would like to believe that I am completely over make dumb unhealthy decisions, but I am human.  The good news is that I am aware of it an that is half the battle in combatting it and living conscious of my actions so it is easier for me to make good ones.

What are you most worried about giving up?

Sugar... enough said.

Rewards and Motivation

I have decided to create benchmarks, goals and rewards as a way of keeping me focused and motivated.  So here is my timeline of rewards for weight loss.

188 - starting weight - start the Medifast 5 and 1 Program
183 - 5 lbs down - Get a manicure
178 - 10 lbs down - Get a pedicure
173 - 15 lbs down - Get a new workout jacket
168 - 20 lbs down - buy a new outfit
163 - 25 lbs down - spa day at Burke Williams
158 - 30 lbs down - buy a new dress
153 - 35 lbs down - Get a manicure & pedicure
148 - 40 lbs down - get hair extensions
143 - 45 lbs down -  spa day at Burke Williams
138 - 50 lbs down - buy a new wardrobe
133 - 55 lbs down - Goal weight - Get-Away trip with my husband :)

With all the money I will be saving on food and health costs I should be able to fund most of this... except the plastic surgery.  But I will figure it out as I go.  Here's to positive life changing decisions!

Back and doing better than ever

So I am back at it with my blogging.  Life has been so crazy and well, to be honest, I just haven't had it in me to blog the past while.  Major depression and a big move has kept me from taking on life and living my life.  But, I am slowly turning things around and starting to add things back into my life that are good for my health and good for my soul, blogging being one of them.

So I started Medifast (Take Shape For Life) on Sunday.  This is day 4 for me.  I had previously done this when I was living in Burley, Idaho and it worked so well for me!  I felt great, I looked great and it really helped me to gain perspective, stay focused and learn to make long lasting healthy life decisions.  So, from now on I will be using some acronyms in some of my posts because they are so much easier than writing out some of the really long words.  Here are some of the ones I can think of:

• PCMR: Portion Controlled Meal Replacement (the shakes and other meal items I eat)
• TSFL: Take Shape For Life (the support community and health lifestyle I follow)
• MF: Medifast (the company that makes the PCMR's that I use daily
• L&G: Lean & grean meal.  This refers to the dinner I make myself which consists of a lean protein and green veggie every evening.
• HOH: Habits of Health book by Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen
• DYOH: Discover Your Optimal Health book by Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen
• OH: Optimal Health

As I can think of more I will add to the list.

As a final thought, I, in no way endorse nor do I make money off of selling MF/TSFL.  So if I ever post links to any of their information or products it is not because I want you to buy it so I get a kickback.  I do not, nor have I ever like MLM's, pyramid schemes, or network marketing companies.  They are just not my thing.  Anyway, I am excited to share my experience and progress.  In health and happiness!

I am broken, but nothing is "wrong" with me.

I will be the first to admit that I am a broken woman.  I have been beaten down by life, I have succumbed to temptation and I am most definitely a haunted and flawed soul.  Yet nothing is wrong with me.  I struggle with depression, overeating, anger and a host of other issues.  Yet nothing is wrong with me.  I can show up as ungrateful, selfish, lazy and mean.  Yet nothing is wrong with me.  Do you get what I'm saying?  I am broken, flawed, imperfect, scarred.  And yet, I can also be compassionate, giving, kind, thoughtful and charitable.

When I struggle, doing things that I don't like, and not living up to the standard I have set for myself and my life, my first thought is, "What's wrong with me!?!"  When my son is throwing a tantrum, saying mean things to me, or being unreasonable, my first thought is, "What's wrong with you!?!"  The answer is: NOTHING!  The point is, we are all flawed, we all struggle, we all fall short of our ideals, but there is nothing wrong with us, inherently I mean. We are human, imperfect beings and that is ok.  There is nothing wrong with us.  Maybe if I was to accept these things about myself, without letting them define who I am, then maybe, just maybe, I remove the power these failings have over me... the power they have over my decisions, my life.

So often I feel like I have to hide my imperfections and flaws from others because people will either not like me, judge me, or worst of all, maybe they will use my weaknesses against me in some way.  So, day after day, I walk around acting like I am perfect, happy, content, confident, all the while I am slowly dying inside because in actuality I am allowing these things to define me and deprive me of being my honest authentic self.  In a world where we are told to put on a happy face, fake it till we make it, and keep up appearances, we are all essentially walking lies.

What if we walked around with big signs on our chests (closest to our hearts) listing all the the things we struggle with, all the wounds we carry, all the burdens we bare?  What do you think would happen?  I will tell you what I think would happen.  I think people would be a little kinder, a litte more compassionate, a little more forgiving, and feel A LOT safer and more comfortable with us.

I, sometimes...ok, a lot of times, feel ashamed of my imperfection.  I feel shame for my faults, weaknesses, problems.  But then I sit back, take a deep breath and think.  And you know what happens?  A sense of gratitude, strength and peace comes over me.  And in those moments I have small glimpses of reality.  I'm not talking MY reality...I'm talking REAL REALITY!  I had one of these moments last night.  Here is what I realized.

The Shame

Shame does not come in having struggles and weaknesses.  Shame comes from denying and hiding them, pretending that they don't exist and that everything is ok.  No one is ok.  Everyone struggles.  The point is to be honest about it, talk about it, learn about it, and never let it define my worth.

The Truth

Is it true that I am selfish? No, but sometimes I do selfish things.  Is it true that I am mean?  No, but sometimes I do mean things.  Is it true that I am unhappy?  No, but sometimes I lose my way and forget my joy.  (I will talk about finding your joy in another blog post).

I will tell you what is true.  I am feeling, caring, emotional, passionate and wild.  And sometimes I get in the way of my own happiness and those gifts that I have been given, I use for ill.  And sometimes, just sometimes, I get out of my own way and use those gifts for good.

The Bottom Line

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I am not going to be afraid any more to be honest about who I am and what my life really looks like from the inside looking out.  I am reminded of a poem that I memorized in 7th grade for my creative writing class.  It has subsequently become my favorite poem, and pretty much the mantra for my life.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

~William Ernest Henley


My head may be bloody, but I am unbowed.  I am the captain of my soul and I choose freedom.  Freedom through living honestly, authentically, and fully.  How about you?  What do you choose?

Eating Disorder

So I am pretty sure I have an eating disorder, but it hasn't been officially classified. What do you call a person that just has to eat anything and everything they think about or see, knowing in the end they will beat themselves up for it and get majorly depressed? I can't think of a good name for it, but I certainly have it. Sad as it is, I am constantly shooting myself in the foot, but I just have no willpower to restrain my "technically overweight" self.

• How do I motivate myself?

• How do I stay on track?

• How do I get myself off the couch and workout?

• How do I lose this last 15-20lbs without killing myself and sucking out the last bit of happiness I feel when I eat?

• And what the hell is the name of my eating disorder?
  

Answers anyone?

The Body Image Fight

I was doing some research on body image and body image issues and came across some frightening statistics.

• Two out of five women and one out of five men would trade three to five years of their life to achieve their weight goals.
• In 1970 the average age of a girl who started dieting was 14; by 1990 the average dieting age fell to 8.
• A study found that women overestimate the size of their hips by 16% and their waists by 25%, yet the same women were able to correctly estimate the width of a box.
• After viewing images of female fashion models, seven out of ten women felt more depressed and angry than prior to viewing the images.
• The “ideal” woman - portrayed by models, Miss America, Barbie dolls, and screen actresses - is 5’5, weighs 100 pounds and wears a size 5.
• Young girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents.
• One out of three women and one out of four men are on a diet at any given time. Two thirds of dieters regain the weight within one year and virtually all regain it within five years.
• 35% of occasional dieters progress into pathological dieting.
• The diet industry (diet foods, diet programs, diet drugs, etc.) takes in over $40 billion each year and continues to grow.
• 30% of women chose an ideal body shape that is 20% underweight and an additional 44% chose an ideal body shape that is 10% underweight.
• The average U.S. woman is 5’4” and weighs 140 pounds whereas the average U.S. model is 5’11” and weighs 117 pounds.
  

This tells me two things. One, our society is really messed up. And two, we as part of that society have a lot of work to do to not only change how society deals with body image, but as individuals how we are going to combat society's idea of body image in our own lives.

I found these statistics on this website: http://www.colorado.edu/StudentGroups/wellness/NewSite/NewBody.html

This is the University of Colorado website. I am so glad universities are teaching about body acceptance. As I have said before, knowledge is the first key to empowerment and change. I think by knowing these devastating statistics it is the first step in changing them.

More to come on body image.

In health and happiness,

AJ

What doesn't work

So, I have written a post on what has worked for me, but I am going to get real here. I am not perfect, and I don't lose weight every single week. I struggle, I make bad decisions, have bad days. Hell I have bad weeks. And in this case, I have had a bad couple weeks. I haven't lost any weight for a few weeks now. I know there are quite a few reasons for this. Some are things I am doing and some are things I am not doing. And some are things that really I have nothing to do with. So, to keep it real, and to show you all out there that I am human and not some plastic happy girl who never gets down and thinks that losing weight is all kicks and giggles, I am going to spill all my unhappy, crappy, full of whoa-is-me-I-feel-like-crap guts.

1. I am eating way late at night. I am eating after dinner which I used to not do, but I have been getting hungry later so I have been snacking, and snacking on things that aren't good for me to snack on.

2. working out is my arch enemy. I have an ultimate aversion to it. I really can think of a million other things to do than work out. So I do. I don't work out, which means I sit on my computer or sit and play with Hudson or sit an do something else. Point is I'm not active. PERIOD. I don't think I need to explain myself anymore than that.

3. bowls of candy lying around the house. WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE? I don't care who you are, how strong you are, how dedicated you are or how much of a super hero you are, this is never a good idea. And unfortunately I am staying with my parents for a few months till we move and she is an absolute sugar fiend. There are at least 5 different bowls, trays, candy dispensers around the house for me to just walk by and subconsciously gorge on. There is something seriously wrong here! That is not to mention all the "secret hiding spots" I happen to know about. REALLY? If you want some candy in the house that is great, but make it at least a little hard to access. In my world, if it is there I am going to eat it. SO, it has been there and I have been eating it. NOT GOOD.

4. I have not been eating a good breakfast. Jason has to keep reminding me to eat breakfast. I am horrible with breakfast anyway, but I have been especially bad at it. I also need to eat shortly after I wake up. I just get in the rush of the morning and forget to eat.

5. Carbs at night. It is hard when I am not in control of dinner. My mom cooks dinner and I am not in control of what she makes so that is difficult, but still I am not a victim and I can make choices, but I just choose to eat whatever she puts in front of me. I also eat way more than I should. I get to cut down.

These are all things that I have changed over the past couple weeks for whatever reason. I guess I am a bit stressed. We are in a transition period right now and I just want to get things settled in our new place and get on with our lives, but we have to wait. That is hard for me, so I get stressed and then I end up suffering for it through food. Food has always been my stress reliever (Food relationships I will save for another post). Anyway, I hope this helps some of you.

Lastly, I am committed to working out. I have gone out on a limb and taken a big risk and am posting some very telltale starting pictures of me right now at the beginning of my new workout regimen. Here they are. I want you all to see how I look now compared to how I will look when I am a super ripped, hot mama. Please enjoy, and no laughing. The picture from the back makes my butt look absolutely enormous! BABY GOT BACK!!!!

A new perspective on weight loss

So Jason and I were at church yesterday and one of Jason's favorite things to do to pass the time during church is to doodle. And seeing as how I am a bit body and health obsessed right now, and I am constantly thinking of new topics for my blog I was sitting there writing a list of blog ideas for my "FGDDD" blog. I looked over at Jason's paper to see what he was doing and this is what I saw:

I couldn't help but laugh. I think my favorite part would have to be the really skinny face, hands and feet. Those are really the only things that changed on the picture. I also love that the before picture is smiling and the after picture is not. Really puts a whole new perspective on losing weight. Or maybe just Jason's views on losing weight (he's kind of a lean guy and currently trying to put on weight). Just thought you could all use a little humor in your weight loss lives.

The Sugar Effect

So, we all know that sugar, because it is a carbohydrate, give us the crashing effect. This happens because carbohydrates give a quick energy that burns strong and fast bringing a burst of energy that is good for workouts and much needed "pick me ups" in the morning to get us going and in between meals to keep us going. But it doesn't last long. The long lastig energy comes from protein.

But what people don't know a lot of the times is that sugar also stops hunger in the satiety center of the brain. This means that when we eat sugar it actually tuns off the part of our brain that tells us that we are not hungry anymore, essentially leaving us defenseless against our cravings.

Now, I absolutely believe it is necessary to have treats every once in a while and to treat ourselves to dessert. But I also believe it is necessary to educate ourselves about sugar and what it does to our bodies. The more we know about it the more likely we are to make smart decisions when we consume it.

So the next time you reach for that chocolate cake or the CrispyCreme doughnut just keep in mind that it is going to tell your brain that you are still hungry. My advice to you is to wait 45 minutes to an hour before you reach for any more food after eating dessert. Give your body a chance to work through the sugar. Just be smart, I know you know what to do. And if all else fails, visualize sugar like this:

Little balls of death!

Who Are You?

So, about 3 1/2 years ago I went through this "self realization" training. It was pretty involved and I could probably start a whole new blog dedicated to that topic alone, BUT there was one thing we did in the training that I found to be particularly profound and meaningful in my life.

We were asked to sit down and write out a list of a bunch of positive attributes we saw in people around us and positive attributes we wanted to have. I wrote out a bunch of things I admired about Jason, my mom and dad, best friends and other people I was going through the training with. After this, we were told to pick out three or four of those attributes that we especially wanted to have, or that were particularly attractive to us. After that, the trainer explained to us that these three or four traits are in fact "WHO WE REALLY ARE", but we just haven't realized it yet.

At that moment I broke down crying. I realized in that instant that what my trainer was saying was true. I looked at the attributes I had chosen and my entire life was a culmination of actions based upon my either trying to find out who I really was. And finally I knew.

So, for all of you out there reading my blog right now, I am going to tell you who I really am. And whenever I am sad, lonely, hurt, beating myself up for doing something I know I am better than, or feel like someone has wronged me, I look in the mirror and I ask myself, "Who are you?" And the I say to myself, "I am a beautiful, honest, trusting, inspiring woman of light".

Now, I urge you all to sit down and find out who you are. Ask yourself, "Who am I?" And I know a lot of you are used to saying I am a Son or Daughter of God and that is great, but I am looking for more here. Pick out some qualities or traits that you can live by. Believe me, when push comes to shove, this one simple sentence can mean so much.

All, often times the world unrightly tells us who we are based on un attainable measurements. Or they ask us who we are hoping to put doubt and fear into our minds and hearts. Especially in this time of uncertainty with social pressure to be perfect physically, financially and even emotionally it is more important now than ever to find out and hold on to who we really are. Hold onto it and don't let go.

One of my favorite quotes is from Gandhi:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

In health and happiness,

AJ

Recap per your request

I wanted to just repost a few things from my personal blog that some people had asked me to put in this blog.

I have had a lot of people ask me how I am losing so much weight so I thought I would post here some of the things that have helped me and really made the difference in my weight loss. Some of them may work for you and some may not. I suggest for any of you who are looking to lose weight, start slow, work through them and do what works for you. We are ot the same and not everything is going to work the same for everyone.

1. I got a food allergy test done. There are foods that you may not necessarily get sick from eating, but you body can't digest them well and they will literally make you "fat". Mine are wheat, eggs, almonds and cashews. This is really helpful in assisting you in making better food choices. If you know you are better with almonds than peanuts then you can make better decisions. So I would suggest getting that test done. As well as I would get a metabolic analysis test done to see if you are deficient in any aminos or essentials that will help you in metabolizing you food and just plain function better. I found I was deficient in serotonin (the sleep hormone) and so I started taking 5HTP which helps to supplement that and makes me sleep better, and gives me more energy during the day. The name of the company that does the test is Metametrix Clinical Laboratories. Their website is:

http://www.metametrix.com/content/Home/Main

You can go on there and read about the different test and even get a request form for the tests to give to your doctor, nutritionist or dietitian. The test has to be administered be one of the above, but it really isn't a big deal to go through one of them.

2. Eat every 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Never go more than 4 hours without eating. This will keep your metabolism up and working. Even if you have to eat something crappy, it is better to do that than nothing at all. This is a huge issue.

3. It is absolutely necessary to make sure you allow yourself dessert and allow yourself real desserts, not "diet desserts". HOWEVER, eat your desserts between lunch and dinner, not after dinner. If you eat it after dinner you are going to put your metabolism into overdrive to work during your sleep (which doesn't work) and then you will either have horrible sleep which is known to cause people to gain weight or it will just turn strait into calories and then fat. Dessert is your friend, but make sure you are being smart about when you eat it. Also, make sure it is really what you want. Don't settle for what is there, make it what is really going to satisfy you. If you don't do it right then you are just going to keep looking for more.

4. Carbs are your friend. You have to have carbs to survive. However, like dessert, you have to be smart about how you do it. I suggest you do carbs, your bulk of carb intake at breakfast and you can have some at lunch, but cut out carbs at dinner time. This is for the same reason as the dessert. As well, in my opinion it is better to do you carbs in the form of rice, beans, potatoes, yams, and I would do bread and pasta on occasion. That is my suggestion. I do pasta once in a while when I go out to a restaurant and rarely do bread. I love rice so that is not difficult for me.

5. You must must must eat breakfast. To go along with that, eat something within an hour of waking up in the morning. It doesn't have to be your breakfast, but you need to eat something to get your metabolism going.

6. Drink water. Need I say more? Just do it.

7. With your workouts, it is better to do some light weight lifting 3 times a week then getting on a treadmill and running your legs off 5 times a week. You need to build your muscle and then as you gain muscle you will kick up your metabolism and be able to burn more calories faster. If you want to do cardio to make you feel better do it 2 time a week for 20 minutes and then do your resistance training 3 times a week. I have some great resistance training workouts that I can share with any of you that you can do at home.

8. Weigh yourself once a week, but don't define yourself by your weight. It is a measurement to see if progress is being made, but it is not the be all end all of progress. Especially if you are doing weight lifting. It can be a measurement of progress, but not the grand prize at the end of the road.

9. Always remember to have 1 or 2 people that you can use as your support system. You need people to share your success and sadness with. People who know what you are going through who won't judge you, but who also won't be jealous of your success as well. Find these people and hold onto them like they are gold. You will need them.

These are my suggestions. I have a lot more, but these are the most important in my opinion. If anyone has more questions, I do tons of research on health and I am happy to share more of what I have learned. Good luck to you all.

In health and wealth,

AJ

And so it Begins

Let me first say I am by no mean an expert, nor am I a professional in any way in the area of health. I am just a girl who has come a long way in the health department and tried pretty much everything in the book to lose weight, be healthy, and keep up with society's idea of a "normal" body image.

Having said that, this blog is dedicated to the pursuit of heath, body acceptance and the continual improvement and empowerment of one's life through knowledge and growth.

A little about me:

I have been overweight my entire life. So if any of you think I don't know where you are coming from... FORGET IT! because I do. I started gaining weight in 2nd grade and never stopped. The social effects started really taking hold in 4th grade when girls in my class thought it would be appropriate to put Jenny Craig wrappers on my desk to send me a message while I was out at recess. Taunting, teasing, ridicule and eventually total social exclusion resulted. This continued through elementary school. In Junior High I started dieting... Atkins... calorie counting... Herbalife... and Dexatrim. Pretty much anything I could think of or get my hands on. My parents even enrolled me in a special "fat kid" program at the hospital to teach me how to make better eating decisions.

Diets continued and became a regular routine through Junior High and High School. My weight fluctuated and I yo-yo'ed back and forth, but nothing was consistent except for the wasting of my parents' money on expensive programs and personal trainers that I would regularly cancel on.

Then came time to go to college. I moved to California and lost a bit of weight with the Atkins diet once again. But alas, college is where it got really bad. Being on my own and the stress of college life took it's toll. I ballooned to 255 lbs. This was my heaviest weight. (See picture to the side) At this point I took my most drastic measure. I decided to have the Gastric Bypass surgery. Going under the knife to get out from under the food addiction that had been holding me hostage my entire life. I felt so desperate. I had tried everything. I had even considered anorexia, but I just loved food too much. Bulimia wasn't an option because I hated throwing up. I just didn't have the willpower or discipline anymore to just "eat right and exercise".

SURGERY WAS MY ONLY OPTION

May 30th 2004, I had surgery. Within 3 months I had lost 50 lbs. At 6 months I had lost 75 lbs and by 1 year I had lost over 100 lbs. This may sound wonderful to some, but along with the weight loss came daily throwing up, losing half my hair, and two rounds of kidney stones. Not to mention 2 miscarriages and a difficult time keeping my 3rd pregnancy.

Now we come to my current state of affairs. I have had a baby, and gained back some of my weight. I still struggle with my weight and with my relationship with food. I have learned a lot along the way and am in the process of trying to reverse years of damaging beliefs and painful programming.

NOW, let me explain the title of my blog: Fat Girls Don't Deserve Dessert!

I have found myself sitting in a restaurant looking at the people sitting around me. And every once in a while I will catch myself staring at a rather large woman who seems to be eating something she "shouldn't" be eating, or eating "more" than she should be eating. I find myself "shoulding" this woman I don't even know. I don't know a thing about her, her background, where she is from, what she has been through or where she is going. Here is my point. Every person whether skinny (unhealthy), fat (I hate that word), normal (whatever that is), deserves to eat. No matter who you are, you deserve to eat. You deserve to eat good food. You deserve to eat yummy food and by all means YOU DESERVE DESSERT! This is why I have titled my blog as such.

This is my history, this is my life. I dedicate this blog to all women, men, ANYONE who may be struggling with body image and that are looking to be empowered and supported in your goals and pursuit in a healthier, happier you.

In health and happiness,

AJ