And so it Begins

Let me first say I am by no mean an expert, nor am I a professional in any way in the area of health. I am just a girl who has come a long way in the health department and tried pretty much everything in the book to lose weight, be healthy, and keep up with society's idea of a "normal" body image.

Having said that, this blog is dedicated to the pursuit of heath, body acceptance and the continual improvement and empowerment of one's life through knowledge and growth.

A little about me:

I have been overweight my entire life. So if any of you think I don't know where you are coming from... FORGET IT! because I do. I started gaining weight in 2nd grade and never stopped. The social effects started really taking hold in 4th grade when girls in my class thought it would be appropriate to put Jenny Craig wrappers on my desk to send me a message while I was out at recess. Taunting, teasing, ridicule and eventually total social exclusion resulted. This continued through elementary school. In Junior High I started dieting... Atkins... calorie counting... Herbalife... and Dexatrim. Pretty much anything I could think of or get my hands on. My parents even enrolled me in a special "fat kid" program at the hospital to teach me how to make better eating decisions.

Diets continued and became a regular routine through Junior High and High School. My weight fluctuated and I yo-yo'ed back and forth, but nothing was consistent except for the wasting of my parents' money on expensive programs and personal trainers that I would regularly cancel on.

Then came time to go to college. I moved to California and lost a bit of weight with the Atkins diet once again. But alas, college is where it got really bad. Being on my own and the stress of college life took it's toll. I ballooned to 255 lbs. This was my heaviest weight. (See picture to the side) At this point I took my most drastic measure. I decided to have the Gastric Bypass surgery. Going under the knife to get out from under the food addiction that had been holding me hostage my entire life. I felt so desperate. I had tried everything. I had even considered anorexia, but I just loved food too much. Bulimia wasn't an option because I hated throwing up. I just didn't have the willpower or discipline anymore to just "eat right and exercise".

SURGERY WAS MY ONLY OPTION

May 30th 2004, I had surgery. Within 3 months I had lost 50 lbs. At 6 months I had lost 75 lbs and by 1 year I had lost over 100 lbs. This may sound wonderful to some, but along with the weight loss came daily throwing up, losing half my hair, and two rounds of kidney stones. Not to mention 2 miscarriages and a difficult time keeping my 3rd pregnancy.

Now we come to my current state of affairs. I have had a baby, and gained back some of my weight. I still struggle with my weight and with my relationship with food. I have learned a lot along the way and am in the process of trying to reverse years of damaging beliefs and painful programming.

NOW, let me explain the title of my blog: Fat Girls Don't Deserve Dessert!

I have found myself sitting in a restaurant looking at the people sitting around me. And every once in a while I will catch myself staring at a rather large woman who seems to be eating something she "shouldn't" be eating, or eating "more" than she should be eating. I find myself "shoulding" this woman I don't even know. I don't know a thing about her, her background, where she is from, what she has been through or where she is going. Here is my point. Every person whether skinny (unhealthy), fat (I hate that word), normal (whatever that is), deserves to eat. No matter who you are, you deserve to eat. You deserve to eat good food. You deserve to eat yummy food and by all means YOU DESERVE DESSERT! This is why I have titled my blog as such.

This is my history, this is my life. I dedicate this blog to all women, men, ANYONE who may be struggling with body image and that are looking to be empowered and supported in your goals and pursuit in a healthier, happier you.

In health and happiness,

AJ